Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekend 21 Survival Guide

Before reading: You can take this guide with a grain of salt but it will seriously help you survive the weekend.


Hey, Viva Virgin! It’s initiation time! First things first, you got to down a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon tall cans and six shots of Fireball... Nah, I’m just kidding, you do that during the weekend. Speaking of weekend, so it’s your first time attending the biggest Rockabilly weekender in the world, right? 

Whether you're going with a friend, a group of friends, or solo because you don't have any friends, you gotta be prepared. Yeah, I know, it’s overwhelming but it's okay, just breathe... we'll get through this together. I’m here to help you. I'm hoping you're one of the lucky ones to get a room at the Orleans or the Super 8 where a Kenny Rogers impersonator serenades you while you’re eating your free continental breakfast. Wherever you’re staying, you got a room, that’s important. You got your High Roller Pass, and if not, well... it's SOLD OUT. That's what happens when you snooze!

However, you can still buy a Classic or a Hot Rodder Ticket which gets you into the Car Show. You're allowed to roam around the casino; gamble, eat, and use the bathroom, hit on strangers and there will be bands playing at the Piano Bar which is free for the public. So it's not a total loss if you didn't get the High Roller, you're just not as cool.

Speaking of money, let's talk budgeting. You're probably wondering "How much money should I bring?" Well that depends what you're going to do with it. Are you going to gamble it away? Drink like a fish? Buy used clothes (I mean "vintage")? Whatever it may be, you want to bring at least $500... actually no, $1000 in cash, but also bring your credit card (if you don't know this, be sure to tell your bank you're going to Vegas or the card won't work. They'll cut your card and you'll get arrested for credit card thief). 

If you're clever, you can get people to buy you a drink, just pull the "I left my wallet in my room" excuse. If you want a good price on vintage, I recommend waiting until Sunday and bargain with the sales person at the vendors, they'll maybe bring the price down but the chances of that moth eaten 1950's sweater you've been eyeing on may not be there by then. Eat the same cheap crap at the food court, that saves a bundle. And don't gamble at all, in fact, let someone else give you their money to gamble with, so if you lose, it's not your money. So those are some ways of saving a few dollars at Viva Las Vegas. 

By the way, you probably want to know what to pack. I'm not going to give you an exact list of things you should pack in your suitcase, there are plenty of "How to Pack for Viva Las Vegas" blogs all over the place. Actually, wait, I do have a checklist for the guys, right here. Oh yeah and for the ladies, Cherry Dollface has a video for how to pack for Viva Las Vegas. Okay, we got that covered!

If you're coming from the airport and need to get there, I suggest not taking a taxi. Not just because they smell like stale cigarette smoke, but they will rip you off. You could take this new thing called Uber or Lyft, it's cheaper (and cleaner!). You can also take the shuttle, which you can make a reservation here or the many other shuttles when you arrive. Don't forget to tip or the shuttle driver will stalk you until you pay them their 2 dollars. 

Okay, now you're ready to have a good time! I mean just look at this video from Bopflix below! Doesn't that look like a good time? Aren't you glad you're going?


Yes, there are a lot of bands this year, SO MANY BANDS! Everyone from legendary acts to bands you've never heard of but should. No way you're going to see every one of them. You’re lucky if you get to see at least 20, maybe 30 tops, if you schedule it right. Before you check the schedule, check out each of the bands online. “But I’m too busy to go online and listen to every single band because I have a life!” Don’t worry, I got you covered! Go to my Spotify Playlist and if you want to know what the bands look like, go to my YouTube Playlist. You'll want to see these bands, many of which you would never see in your hometown. So narrow down who you really want to see, you may have to sacrifice a few bands (no, weirdo, I don't mean kill them) because they do overlap. You are here for the Music, right? 

Of course there are many other events happening including Dave & Deke's Hillbilly Fest, Burlesque Bingo and Showcase, The Stars of Sun Records, Charles Phoenix Slideshow, the Car Show, the vendors (bring cash!), bowling, record hops, the pool party, yeah, yeah... there's a lot to do. I can't write it all down. But what you should do is schedule everything you can down to what you want to see and do. You don't want to miss anything. But leave some room to wing it, that's the fun of it. Just don't get lost in the sea of pompadours and victory rolls. 


Oh yeah, I have to mention, they’ve added an extra three days of live music and record hops starting Monday through Wednesday, with a couple of bands playing each night at the Piano Bar and a Pre-Party in the Bailiwick Pub on Wednesday night, and it's FREE!




So if you’re crazy enough to stay in Vegas for an entire week, I say do it. It's a good warm-up before the main event. If you can't, then arrive on Thursday. Be sure to check-in, throw your bags in the room, and don't forget to buy a bunch of bottled water so you can stay hydrated (don't drink the Vegas tap water, it will kill you). You also want to grab some instant coffee for the room (be sure it has a coffeemaker), you're gonna need it. While you're at it, buy some snacks for the room, that is if you want to save some dough. Unless you're like me, just eat nothing but Sbarro pizza all weekend. 

Speaking of mediocre food court pizza, when you got the time between bands and other events, EAT FOOD! Yes, eating is important. Sometimes you might forget to eat because you're just having too much damn fun. 

You have many options in the casino or even outside of The Orleans. But if you're craving TGI Fridays, I highly recommend getting in line early because there will be a line. So if you're dying for those loaded cheddar and bacon potato skins, you're going to have to wait. I think it's the only place that serves Pabst Blue Ribbon, hence why the long line, I'm just guessing. Like with any food in a Vegas hotel, EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK. You don't want to end up face first in a toilet bowl for the entire weekend after you've eaten the buffet shrimp (I'm not saying you're guaranteed to get sick, but I've heard stories). Also, if you want to save a few bucks on breakfast, Fuddrucker's at the food court has a pretty good and inexpensive breakfast; good for those after drinking and dancing until 7:30 AM. 



After you've done that, head straight to the Bienville Room at 1:00 PM for Sweetpea’s Hooch & Smooch! “What the hell is Sweetpea’s Hooch & Smooch”? Well I’m glad you asked, it’s the place to be because this is where you’ll meet new folks. That one person you meet, they're going to be your best friend for the entire weekend. Check the Facebook event page for more info!

Other places to meet new people are the many meet ups happening on Thursday. There’s a meet up for the sober folks, the LGBTQ community, and for the lonely hearts: The Singles meet-up. If your goal is to have a “weekender girlfriend or boyfriend”, who knows, you may find them at one of these meet-ups. However, if you smell like beef and vegetable soup, I don’t know... just be good at talking and maybe you have a shot. That's entirely up to you. Here's the schedule for the meet-ups.

In my opinion, the best place to meet new people is the record hops. “But I have two left feet!” No worries, that’s where you take Miss Wolff’s Jiving School! Where you'll learn how to Jive, Bop and Stroll. She’ll have lessons on Friday and Saturday, and after a couple of lessons you’ll go from terrible to mediocre. 



If you’re feeling cocky, you can join the Jive, Bop, andStroll dance competition on Sunday, chances are you won’t win but you can say “I did it!” If you're one of those guys who's too cool to dance, I get it, but the ladies like a guy who can dance. Be like Kevin Bacon in Footloose. Just dance, damnit! Also, you should know that record hops go on until 7:30 AM and only the cool kids are the last one's standing.


Whether it’s at the meet ups, record hops, casino bar, car show, etc., you’re going to meet new and awesome people. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to people, and this is coming from an introvert. 

If record hops aren't your thing because watching people dance makes you dizzy and jealous because of your two left feet, you got the All Night Jump'N Showcases presented by Reverend Martini happening in the Bailiwick and Deke's Rockin' Rhythm & Blues Revue in the Bienville Room. Lots of great acts, so check  it out why don't you!






Okay, so you've made some new friends, saw some awesome bands, spent most of your money at the vendors, drank yourself silly, danced until the sun came up, made out with a stranger whose name you don't know and it's only Friday. Now you get back to bed so you can get at least two hours, because that's how much sleep you're gonna get.



Now it’s Saturday: The Car Show! The day you’ve been waiting for to see the "Killer" himself, Jerry Lee Lewis! Guitar legend, Duane Eddy! And some small, just new to the Rockabilly music scene, The Stray Cats. Now I recommend you get there early, around 10 AM. Get right in front of the stage and stay there for the entire day. I mean you can’t move or you’ll lose that spot, but luckily you got some awesome acts playing such as Crazy Man Crazy, Mitch Polzak, and Hot Rod Lincoln to keep you entertained. However, if you’re hungry, TOO BAD, eat before or bring a bagged lunch (nah, you grab a taco or a burger at the car show) You need to use the restroom, TOO BAD, you’ll have to hold it (nah, they have porta potties, but ewww). You can also tell the person next to you to save your spot while you eat and use the restroom, but they won’t. So it’s a chance you have to take. As long as you put on your sunblock, sunglasses and/or you got a parasol above you, you should be fine. With all the events happening over the weekend, you want to get there early! Like they say, the early bird gets the... I forgot. Anyway...



Now, for some reason you can’t go outside because you’ll literally go up in flames or you just hate The Stray Cats so much because they did something to you as a child and now you’re boycotting their reunion, there’s The Wild Records Show happening in the Bienville room all day! It starts at Noon, then they lock the doors and you can't leave, not even to use the restroom. You have to watch every Wild Records band from beginning to end. Rock 'n' Roll! 



It's Saturday night, the car show is over, it's time to get back to your room and change. You want to look dapper! The guys got their suits and vintage ties and the ladies are wearing their vintage gowns and dresses, it gets all classic Hollywood red carpet premiere in the casino for some reason. Now fellas: You basically want to walk in the casino looking like the guys in Swingers, because you're money! 



I mean you can wear whatever the hell you want, but you don't want to be that guy with crocs and socks, unless the crocs have flames and the socks have dice; then you've gone "Crocabilly" (Ha!).

It’s the last day on Sunday, I know it's sad but it’s pool party time! Apparently, they’ve expanded the pool area so now less of a line. To be safe, get there around 11am maybe sometime before, just when people are hungover and dragging themselves to the pool. Luckily, at least I hope, you didn’t drink too much and still got energy, so you can run pass everybody and get to the pool first. Not many people use the pool, so you'll have plenty of room to work on your cannonballs. They do have the pool party happening on other days, not just Sunday. So if you hate people and big crowds, you can go on those days. I mean there will still be lots of people, but just little less than Sunday. 

With both the pool party and the car show, you gotta put on sunblock. I mean drench yourself from head to toe, enough that you can slip and slide on the Ballroom floor like a penguin. That sun is a son of a bitch, and he will burn you.

ATTENTION LADIES! Like with any concert or festival, you’re bound to meet many creeps, or what I like to call, "The Viva Creep", not just because he wears Creepers. He looks like Cry-baby but fell off his motorcycle one too many times (and he doesn't even own a motorcycle), and reeking of Camel cigarettes.  His pompadour is combed with a mix of vaseline and cooking oil. He may have some prison-style tattoos but he's never been prison, maybe a day in a jail cell for public urination. He usually prowls alone, but sometimes has a just as creepy and shorter sidekick. These guys will creep on you and your friends, or hit on you even if your boyfriend is right next to you. He’s usually plastered,  so you can run away or just lightly push him and he’ll fall and turn over like a turtle. Problem solved. 


There’s another guy who creeps around Viva Las Vegas, especially at the car show, they’re called GWC - "Guy With Camera"...

There’s  "Please Take a Photo with Me" Guy: He’s the excited tourist and must take a photo with you. He's usually with his wife and wearing a fanny pack. In fact, he's harmless. 

But then there’s "Check Out My Huge Camera" Guy: Just because he has a camera with three lenses attached on top of each other, he thinks he’s a professional. Watch out for these dudes, they usually sport a ponytail (with receding hairline) or bad 90’s Rocker hair (with receding hairline). They will pester you until they get that photo, you can politely say “No”. Be sure to see a business card first to know if they’re legit. I mean anyone can make a business card, so be careful with that one. Best yet, if you have a parasol; block them from taking your photo. 

And then there’s Sneaky Camera Guy: He’ll sneakily take a photo of you without your permission, creepily say “Thank you” (or say nothing) and walk away. He’ll upload your photo onto his computer in his basement, Photoshop himself in the photo with you and then put it on Instagram tagged “Me and my girlfriend at Viva Las Vegas”. I mean I'm not exactly sure they do that, but I wouldn't be surprised. I've witnessed these guys roaming around, so be very wary of them. 

I’m not saying all photographers are like this. Many of my good friends are excellent professional photographers; those are the ones you want to get a real photoshoot with. 


Other people to be wary of:
  • The "Get Off My Lawn" Elderly. While many of the old folk there are nice and will talk about the good ol' days of the 1950s, some will be angry that you're in their way and will try to fight you with their cane. Just walk away.
  • The Overweight Elvis Impersonator. There's usually one of these guys and he will steal your fries at Fuddrucker's. Like the Viva Creep, he will probably hit on you and serenade "The Lady Loves Me" to you at the pool party.
  • Drunk Guy/Gal at Noon. Of course, lot of people will be drunk at Vegas. But there's always a few who drink during breakfast time and are ready to fight someone, make out with someone or be your best friend at Noon. Don't be that person, at least be that person around midnight. But don't fight anybody, it's not West Side Story, it's not worth getting kicked out for. Unless you actually dance fight someone, that's hilarious.
  • Zoot Suit Guy. He's alright, just be wary of the feather on his hat, it will poke your eye out.
I'm sure there are many other people to be wary of, just be careful of your surroundings. Besides that, people are generally really cool. In fact, most folks at Viva Las Vegas are  awesome. Just don't be a creep. 

Let's recap, plus some more tips and DO'S and DON'TS:

  1. Download the schedule and narrow down the bands and events you want to see. 
  2. Go to Sweetpea's Hooch & Smooch! 
  3. Buy water for the room! And coffee! Lots of it!
  4. DON'T get plastered on the first day. I know... I know... it's Vegas, but you seriously don't want to pass out before the fun starts. You especially don't want to be this guy.
  5. Get on that dance floor, goddamnit!
  6. DO wear comfortable shoes for walking and dancing: Flats, sneakers, whatever feels comfortable but DON'T wear flip-flops, unless you really don't want make any friends. Dr. Scholl's always helps too.
  7. Get some nasal spray, because you know, dry Vegas air and cigarette smoke; Eyedrops when your eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep and staring at that sun when you forgot your sunglasses (don't forget the sunglasses); Advil for those pesky hangovers; take Vitamin supplements that will help you not get the horrid post-Viva Plague; bandaids for those blisters on your feet or you got in a knife fight with a greaser. Oh yeah,  SUNBLOCK, but I already mentioned that so don't forget it!
  8. Get in line early for everything! That includes TGI Fridays, Jive lessons, the vendors and the pool party. 
  9. Avoid The Viva Creep and make fun of him from a safe distance. 
  10. DON'T be an asshole and start fights with a car club and security. They will destroy you.  
  11. Make fun bad decisions as long as you don't end up in a Vegas prison or married to The Viva Creep. 
  12. Be sure your jeans are cuffed the right length (not really, but you do want to fit in, right?)
  13. DON'T fall in love while you're there. Because you'll get your heart broken, but then you can write a song about it. Who knows? Maybe you can play it at Viva Las Vegas next year! 
  14. Most importantly, pace yourself. There's a lot of people to do- I mean... THINGS to do and people to see, and you won't get to see it all. So try to get as much done as you can, but don't worry if you can't do it all. There's always next year... If you survive this year, that is.





Does that cover everything? Probably not, there's a lot I'm missing but I hope this helps you. You're going to have a killer time! Just have fun, make some friends, dance, laugh, forget your troubles back home, don't act a fool, and enjoy the weekend with like-minded people! 




Check the Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly website for more info on the many happenings during the weekend and read the FAQ to answer your questions.