Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekend 22 Survival Guide

Are you ready for your first Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekend experience?

So, let's hope you already have the following things: 

High Roller Pass or "Classic" Car Show Only Pass because you honestly thought that would get you into every event. Nope! Just the Car Show, but you'll still have fun, I guess. "I love the smell of exhaust fumes in the morning!"

Transportation; no matter how you get there, just get there. Hitchhike if you have to, just don't get murdered or murder the person giving you a lift. That's not cool. If you're coming from the airport, you can take a shuttle service or I recommend Lyft for a quicker ride to the hotel or else you'll be waiting a few hours. If you're not in a rush, then by all means, shuttle it. Don't take a cab!

CASH! Bring some spending money, really your entire tax return, for everything such as food, shopping, gambling, strip clubs, bail money, etc. Be sure to tell your bank you're going out of town so your credit card doesn't get declined when you're trying to buy a slice at Sbarro. The alarms will go off and security will tackle you.

If you're staying at The Orleans, they give you a bunch of coupons for the food court where you get to save a buck on a burger! You can do a lot with that buck, you know what I'm talking about... yeah you do... you don't? Never mind.

So you're probably wondering about the Vendors. They open on Thursday at 5pm, if you're one of those who's craving the vintage, be the first in line. If you don't really care or want to take a chance, wait until Sunday, some of the prices may go down, and you get to save two dollars on that sweet pair of vintage 1955 socks, with holes!

Clothes! You're going to need those, naked people aren't allowed. If you don't like it, start your own Nudist Rockabilly Weekender. With your clothes, that should include comfortable shoes with Dr. Scholl's, because you'll be doing a lot of walking around, standing around and possibly some dancing around. You can wear flip-flops, but you won't make any friends.

Fellas, if you haven't packed yet, just throw some t-shirts and jeans into a grocery bag and you're set! Maybe one suit. Ladies, I'm sure many of you have started packing since last Summer but if you haven't, I'll let my friend Cherry Dollface show you how to pack for Viva Las Vegas: 

By the way, the Las Vegas sun is a son of a bitch, so get your sunblock, sunglasses (don't wear inside the casino, that's only for blind people and assholes). You'll mainly need those for the pool party and car show. 

In case you forgot your sunglasses, have some eye drops handy, because you'll need it anyway for the next morning when you look like you've been smoking reefers, even though you vape. Or just buy a cheap pair at the gift shop, or steal them from a passed out Elvis impersonator on the Strip. 

An even bigger son of a bitch than the Vegas sun, is the Viva Las Vegas Plague, so pack up on Vitamin C. I'm no doctor, but it does wonders when you take it every morning. You may be thinking "Bullshit", well maybe you'll get lucky (I don't mean getting laid), just don't be surprised to find yourself in bed watching the Price Is Right while coughing your lungs out. Better safe than sorry. Toiletries; including all your grooming products, tooth brush, comb, it's like you're going to a slumber party except with alcohol, cigarette smoke and bad mistakes. And don't forget the aspirin for those pesky hangovers. You'll get hangovers even if you didn't drink. Trust me, I know.

If you're attached to your phone, have your phone charger with you at all times, or you'll freak out when your phone dies and you can't Instagram Live everything.

But most importantly, your Viva Las Vegas schedule! Download it! There are a lot of things to do and see and you won't be able to do them all. First, if you're someone like me who's there for the bands (what other reason would there be?), then be sure to narrow down all the bands you want to see. There are a lot of great acts to choose from but it's impossible to see them all, so I did you the favor of making this Spotify playlist.

You decide from this list who you want to see. I recommend you see anybody that you wouldn't normally get to see in your town, trust me, there are a lot. You won't get to see any of these bands anywhere else. Make the right decision. Be sure to buy their albums, a T-shirt, a button, support music!

Not just the amazing bands and record hops, but so many events are happening including the Burlesque Bingo, VLV Bowling, Charles Phoenix slideshow, Rev Martini's All Night Jump'n Showcase!, Dave & Deke's Hillbilly Fest, Big Sandy has a big surprise happening at the end of the weekend, and John Waters himself will be making an appearance at the Burlesque Showcase, there's something for everybody! You can even get married at the car show, that's insane!

Now, you've checked in the hotel whether you're one of the cool kids at The Orleans or lame at bedbug infested Motel 6, just be happy you have a bed because it will be your best friend for at least two hours of sleep every night. Be sure to pick up any munchies or alcohol so you can stash in your room. If you didn't reserve a fridge, the air conditioner works as a way to cool your drinks, or fill the tub with ice, only to wake up to find your kidney missing... I'm just kidding, or am I? Anyway... If you haven't already, I recommend arriving a day or two earlier. You don't want to just dive right in, give yourself a day to settle in and then check out some rockin' off-site events that Wednesday, including the 2nd Annual Rockin' Party at Glam Factory Vintage at Noon-6pm. Then head over to The Orleans to pick up your wristbands, which there will be a ridiculously long line, so just think like the Rockabilly version of the DMV, just not as annoying. Honestly, it's best to grab a bite at the food court then head back, the line will still be long but now you're not starving but you drank too much and now you have to run to use the restroom. By that time, the line should start to finally move.

If you're there early, have an adventure walking around the Orleans casino. Get used to your surroundings and know where everything is, because if you get lost, you'll end up yelling "I need an adult!" and that's embarrassing. Then stick around for the Pre-Party at the Piano Bar (where there's a piano above the bar... what?).

YES, YES, YES you'll need a wristband to get into every event. You don't need a wristband to use the restroom, eat food, gamble, get drunk, fight security, get arrested, get locked up... you get it. Just be sure you have your wristband.

Oh yeah, DON'T drink the tap water. Have you seen 'Alien'? That's all you need to know. Get bottled water instead.

Thursday morning, you're alive and ready to start the official Viva Las Vegas weekend! Get yourself a cheap $5 breakfast at Fuddrucker's or pay four times that and get the buffet. Whichever your budget allows, you gotta get some food in you.  

Head upstairs at one o'clock for the always fun Sweetpea's Hooch & Smooch, no it's not what you think, it's a great way to start off the weekend with five rocking acts and a place to make friends. If you feel you can't make friends because you smell like soup, no worries, most folks here are friendly. Be sure to grab a name tag and introduce yourself to people! Who knows, you may meet the love of your life or a possible regrettable hook-up! Whether you're single or happily married, you'll probably end up meeting someone with just the right amount of liquid courage in your system.  
Now, if you didn't meet that special someone at Sweetpea's Hooch & Smooch, then run downstairs for the Singles Meet-up, where people from all over the world come together to awkwardly shake hands and make lame small talk. This is your chance to get a phone number, grab a drink together, or just blankly stare off into the distance.

If you still can't meet someone, the entire weekend is pretty much a huge singles mingle, but here's some advice: Don't be a creeper. And advice to the ladies: Watch out for the creepers, I'm not talking about the shoes. Viva creeps are everywhere. Even non-Viva attendee creeps roam around the casino. Be sure to have your drink with you at all times, and have a friend who will gladly cock block for you, just tell them to "Beat it, creep". How to spot a Viva creep? Just like with any creep, he'll stare at you for an inappropriate amount of time, usually going solo or has a shorter even creepier sidekick. He will hit on you, won't care if you have a boyfriend. Don't give him eye contact, he will proceed to get your number or make a move, so don't hesitate to tell security or give him a good kick in the shins, but that might make him angry so best to just run away as fast as you can.  Fellas, this may even describe you, so don't be this guy and treat the ladies with RESPECT.

There are plenty of other Meetups for LGBTQ and Sober folk (You'll actually remember the weekend!) Many chances to make friends! Or enemies...

For the non-creepy good fellas: Apparently, there's such thing as "Rockabilly Prostitutes". Basically, they're like regular Vegas prostitutes, but they got their hands on a wristband and sporting a Poodle skirt. Be careful fellas, unless you got the money, don't think she's flirting with you because she likes your Stray Cats tattoo. However, don't mistake a non-prostitute for a real one and say "So, how much?" because then you're looking at a smack in the face. Flirt at your own risk.

You know how to dance? Great. Be sure to fill up on caffeine as you want to go to the All Night Record Hops. They go on until 7:30 AM, and honestly, the most fun you'll have at Viva Las Vegas.  If you're one of those who doesn't dance because you're too cool, just be sure you're leaning against a wall, don't smile and have a beer in hand, always. If you truly can't dance but you want to learn, check out the Jiving Class with Miss Sophia Wolff happening Friday at 1:30pm, this is where you'll learn how to Jive, Bop, Stroll, Texan Two-Step, learn Kung Fu (I wish), all of that.

"Where should I eat?" You ask. Anywhere that's within your budget and won't give you food poisoning and/or diarrhea. But there are plenty of options inside The Orleans and off-site, just Google it. Yelp also works.

Let's talk about OLD PEOPLE. I'm not talking about the "I've been going to Viva Las Vegas since the beginning so I qualify for AARP". I mean those who actually fought in the Civil War. You should respect your elders, many are there to have just as much fun as you. However, you'll get some elderly folk who will fight you because they want to get close to the stage. It's best to just let them and walk away, you don't want to get your ass beat by grandpa and grandma, or be known as the person who gave them a fatal heart attack by gently tapping their shoulder.

I hope you've already drenched yourself in sunblock and put on those shades because it's the Saturday car show! Check out the cool vintage cars but whatever you do, don't touch, ask the owner first or else he will break your nose just by staring at you.

Honestly, I wouldn't get food at the car show, not that it's bad (the tacos and churros are good), but just a bit overpriced, if you're on a budget. Maybe take a quick ride to In-N-Out Burger or eat the eighth Sbarro slice. But I do recommend the ice cold lemonade though! If you can find it, five bucks gets you a large tall cup and it's refreshing on a hot day, or you can stick with your beer, whichever you prefer.

Walk around, check out the many vendors, but be sure to get at the stage early to have a good view of your favorite band because it gets full. I also recommend leaving during the last song of the last car show act because it'll take you forever to get back to the casino.

Now it's Saturday evening and you're back in the casino only to find yourself surrounded by folks who look like they're going to a Hollywood red carpet premiere. Because Saturday night is when mostly everybody dresses to the nines. Now you feel like a piece of shit because you're wearing your fanny pack and crocs with socks, and everyone is secretly laughing at you. Okay, it's not that drastic, but I recommend making a change so you look semi-formal. But you know what? You can wear whatever the hell you want, as long as you're comfortable.  

Let me say this just this once; THERE IS NO DRESS CODE! You may think you're not "Rockabilly" enough or "Pin-Up" enough, but everyone is there for the same reason as you; to have a damn good time, or judge people for having fun, whichever. All walks of life attend this weekender, just do your thing as long as you don't hurt anybody or yourself, just your liver and feet.

So you're not dead yet and it's the last day, laaame! Some people have left Sunday morning to catch their flight home so they can be responsible, but you're not responsible, so you get to have fun still! And Sunday means POOL PARTY! Yes, there's a pool party all weekend, but Sunday happens to be the most happening. Be sure to get in line early like 5 AM, or  at least before 11 AM. It fills up and takes up to an hour or more to wait. Maybe have a friend save your spot if you can't make it on time. If you don't have any friends, just walk up to a stranger and say "Thanks for saving my spot" and cut in line, that will guarantee some dirty looks, so don't do that actually. This goes for any long lines, just be there early.

So you've taken those dance lessons and now feeling cocky, head over to the Main Ballroom for the Jive Competition. I assure you that you won't win, but it's a lot of fun. Who knows, you may get on YouTube! 

So the most important thing is to HAVE FUN, make some friends, watch some great bands, and just live life! That's what this weekender is all about. 


By Monday morning, even Sunday morning, you will be a zombie. People at the airport may look at you strange and run away, screaming, but know that you're the one who had the best weekend ever.  You'll be happy to go home but you'll have many memories to remember, the sleep deprivation is worth it. Get home, go straight to bed and take a two day nap.

I may not have covered everything on how to survive a Viva Las Vegas weekender. Just find yourself a Viva veteran, if you can spot one, they'll give you the nitty gritty or tell you to "Fuck off, newb!" But I wouldn't worry about that, everyone I've encountered at Viva Las Vegas has been very cool and made me feel welcomed when I was a first timer.

Be sure to look through the entire Viva Las Vegas website and also FAQ to have your questions answered.

I wish you luck on your first Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly experience!